Barnsley say they have learned from conceding three goals in 13 minutes at Sunderland in November ahead of the 'massive' return fixture tomorrow evening.
The Reds are currently second in League One, four points clear of the Black Cats who have a game in hand.
If Barnsley win or draw tomorrow, they will be unbeaten in league games at Oakwell for a year and they will have equalled a postwar club record of 23 home matches without defeat.
Tonge said: “We are under no illusions that it’s a massive game. We have had fan mail from Wisconsin in America wishing us luck for the game, so that shows how big it is. We are looking forward to it and so will Sunderland. We will look to hit it head on and get the win. We need to stay calm and make sure we play our way.
“We can increase the gap and they can close the gap but it’s not the be all and end all for the season. We are looking to win the game and see where that leaves us.”
Barnsley are unbeaten in 16 league matches, their best run since 1981, while Sunderland have not been beaten in 14.
"We understand Sunderland are a massive, massive club in this league. They have individuals who belong a lot higher than this level. Will Grigg was brought in for £4million in January and he is one of several who have Premier League quality."
A crowd of about 18,000 is expected with Sunderland set to bring more than 4,000 away supporters. Tonge said: "We know they will bring a lot of fans so the atmosphere will be fantastic. The game has a really good feeling about it. If you don’t enjoy nights in front of 18,000 people, you don’t enjoy football.
"Our home crowds are getting bigger and fans are buying into the style of play we’re trying to produce. The longer you go unbeaten it makes a massive difference because you have an air of confidence. We have the backing of the home fans now. We need them. We want to keep making Oakwell a fortress and stay unbeaten."
Sunderland won 4-2 at home to Barnsley in November, scoring three goals in 13 first half minutes to go 3-0 up then, after Kieffer Moore bagged a brace, they secured the win with a late breakaway goal.
“As a group, that first half hour was chaotic. A lot of people had their worst performance of the season. We can definitely use it as motivation and it’s something we have drawn on. We identified that there were things lacking.
“A big thing was confidence within the team and the defending as a group, not just the back four and goalkeeper. We have worked on it and you can see now that they work for each other in every game.”
Barnsley striker Cauley Woodrow, who hit the crossbar during the comeback in Sunderland, said: “We started poorly but we managed to get back into the game and we had good chances. It didn’t work out that night but I am sure we won’t start so poorly again tomorrow. We are looking forward to the game.
“It’s a massive game, second v third. We got a win at the weekend which made the gap a bit bigger and we will look to make it even bigger in this game. We’re in a stronger position than them and, if they do beat us, they will still be behind us but both teams will want to win. It’s a big night and we want the fans to really bet behind us because they will be a big factor.”
Barnsley will be without both Jacob Brown and Cameron McGeehan who will serve the second match of three-game bans. The Reds visit local rivals Doncaster Rovers on Friday. Tonge said: "In an ideal world we would rotate but it’s difficult when the players are performing well and want to play every game. If they feel fatigued, we might have to make changes.”
