I swear that I am the only woman in Barnsley that doesn’t enjoy clothes shopping. I can actually hear women screaming out “What kind of woman are you?” I know, I know. But it feels that it’s nothing but stress.

But unfortunately needs must and I had no choice. So off I toddled, armed with bag, phone and purse. Oh. And clothing that is easy to remove without too much movement. I just can’t do with too many layers on, it’s too frustrating. Layers to take off and then layers to put back on. that’s one of the reasons that I never go clothes shopping in the winter. and I must admit that I haven’t got a lot of patience.

Anyway, I was feeling quite proud of myself. The first shop that I went into I chose five items to try on. Now that’s really good for me because I usually spend ages just wondering around picking items up only to put them back down, to then go back and pick them up again to change my mind and return them again. I’ve even left the shop thinking that it will still be there when I have decided what I want, only to go back and find that the only size that fits me has been sold. But oh no siree, I wasn’t going to let that happen today.

So off I went to the changing rooms. I wasn’t even put off when I was informed that I could only take three items in at one time. Not a growl or grunt escaped from my mouth. I even seemed to think that I smiled at the assistant and maybe mumbled something on the lines to “that’s absolutely fine.” Oh dear god! What has happened to me?

Things were going so swimmingly, or so I thought. Well. The first garment had a fault, so that went back on the hanger. The second one must also have been faulty because I couldn’t get the zip to meet, I looked at the size, only to find that it was a smaller size than what it stated on the hanger. Why does that happen? It's so annoying. I managed to get the third dress on and fastened up without any problems…until I tried to get the zip down.

Panic hit me, oh dear god please don’t let this happen. Think! Think! Maybe I could pull the zip back up and it might loosen it, but no, it was now completely stuck. There was nothing for it, I would have to call for help.

I was trying to wriggle about hoping that I could somehow get the zip to move. I was now getting very hot and sweaty. I needed to just sit down and calm down. Panicking was not going to make the situation any better. Neither was screaming out for someone to help me. I decided that I could manage this on my own. The flaming zip went up so it must come back down. Worst case scenario. I would have to buy it and then get Pete to cut me out once I got home. I even had a slight deja vu moment, remembering being trapped inside a dress once before.

The assistant must have heard all the huffing and puffing and maybe thought I was having a heart attack or something. “is everything alright?” she asked. “Not really.” I replied. A smiley face popped through the curtain. “Oh dear, it looks like the zips stuck.” She said in a happy, cheery voice. “Would you like me to help you?” I almost said in my sarcastic voice “No I quite like jumping up and down, twisting and turning whilst having a bloody panic attack.” But that wouldn’t have got me anywhere. After releasing me I thanked her for her help. And as I was leaving the shop I had a strange feeling that it was the same shop as last time.